Better Than Sex?

My friend has begged me to put this true story to paper. Hope you enjoy...I've got to start writing every day.....

“BETTER THAN SEX”

INT: HIGH END AUTOMOBILE SHOWROOM AND MECHANICS BAY - NIGHT

Working late one night, 3 am my head mechanic was pulling an all nighter with me and came into the showroom where my office was and says, “Wanna feel something better then sex?” This was coming from a stable and very happily married man with six kids that I had worked with for years and never heard him even use the word, “kiss”…what to say? “Sure”.

INT: MECHANICS BAY

He leads me into the bay where one of our more infamous clients’ 930 (this is a turbo 911) Porsche lived . It stayed with us year round resting before its yearly trek to SIR (the big racetrack in Seattle). The owner of this sleek machine was the CEO of the biggest disposal company in the city limits. He rented the track once year for the entire day, invited his friends and tried to shred his arch nemesis the owner of the other garbage empire…we kept that Porsche in our stable as well. They’d come back from “race day” all trashed and we’d do body fixes and engine repairs…

INT: PORSCHE 930

Let me digress briefly to set the stage… the interior of this car was laced with pink tubing and it snakes from a canister in the front boot to a brass knob. This “knob” was next to the six shifter…in essence a modified space shuttle…I hadn’t let this car get to me for two years believing my crew was pulling my leg, “sure a turbo engine enhanced with nitrous oxide” And monkeys fly..it seemed ludicrous..

CUT TO:

INT: SHOWROOM – MONTHS EARLIER

But still there were the times my boss would dash in and ask the crew to put the car on the racks as he raced up to his office hideout..”if the cops come I’m not here” he’d shout as he hit the stairs…so he was outrunning the cops Hans Solo style (except with a working warp drive)…any normal 911 Porsche engine could accomplish this back in those days…

RETURN TO PRESENT:

Now there was the fact that I was a woman in a male dominated industry and had to play it cool at all costs…

INT: MECHANICS BAY – ALONGSIDE PORSCHE 930

So I bring you back to the proposition from a most trustworthy guy..”Get in” he beckons to the passenger side..I sit down and immediately notice the body contouring seat and then these full mesh web body belts - on both sides….”Do I need a helmet?” I joke, “Maybe” he laughs…he turns the ignition and I hear the familiar Porsche purr with a hint of something more…I’ve always thought Porsche’s sounded sexy …but I’ve been here, done this car many times, taken them for test drives with customers and driven them myself since high school…but the belts and the seat were intimidating..why all this protection? Sure it’s a professional racecar but this is a bit much…

EXT: STREET

Mike drives it out of the garage and we smoothly transition to Broadway Street a few blocks away…it’s in Seattle and runs the entire length of an illustrious neighborhood known for its rich kid beggars, cross dressers, trust fund brats, college kids, over tanned wannabe starlets…at 3 am it’s a ghost town…

CUT TO: THAT MOMENT – POLICE CAR

Somewhere in the back of my mind the image of a lone officer sitting in his squad car listening to the latest radio calls from the sexy dispatcher’s voice creeps into my imagination..his donut crumbs are scattered across his paunchy belly..his coffee is cold and the foam cup is crinkled from over handling, he’s tired….

RETURN TO:

EXT: STREET

The first block starts like any other drive in a Porsche and then IT HAPPENS…

INT: PORSCHE 930

I recall Mike shifting into 3rd gear, then I tease him, “I suppose you’re going to be pressing that fake knob pretty soon aren’t ya?” There’s a subtle click that I hear over the twining engine…then I lose 16 blocks of my life, they simply vanish and I magically arrive at the end of Broadway..we had to have been going so fast that if we had had the misfortune to hit a pedestrian there wouldn’t be remains Poof. Incinerated…I’m serious 16 WTF blocks just didn’t happen…my stomach was still back on block 1, I was speechless, a first. I briefly imagined the cop and thought of him as he felt the rustle of a breeze and perhaps a brief flash caught his attention… he shrugs it off, it was nothing.…The only thing I can tell you that may bring you ever so slightly into the feeling of this epic moment would be Roller Coaster merged with yep perhaps sexual thrills…but this ride was beyond that, way beyond.

INT: MECHANICS BAY – PORSCHE 930

We pull into the bay and Mike parks the car in its spot and I undo all the meshing and try to gracefully climb out…I’m tipsy, goofy and silly…I try and play it off and walk towards the showroom door, halfway there I turn, pause briefly, “yep” is all I can manage. Mike and I never mentioned our joint experience again…
.. ..

This is Marc

From my Frontline

Where I've been...picture me face planted to my laptop, fingers zinging across the keys, eyes scanning wildly across the frontier of the internet highway...there is just such much eyecandy to behold.

StumbleUpon..."Shut up...shut up...you had me at "Stumble!"

Is there an internet addiction support group out there?

Scary thoughts...a) not being able to get online, b) having an intervention sprung on me, c) having to drink water.

Neuroanesthesia? No probs, I'm sure I can find a doctor online, have meds delivered to the door...wait...no time to answer the door...I'll find someone to answer the door? ;

• Open mouth
• Insert pill
• Rub throat to activate swallowing

I welcome your discoveries...a few things that fire up my neurons; Photography, screenwriting, horses, animal rights, astronomy, physics, marketing, online businesses, viral videos, reality t.v., obsessions, art, social experiments, cars, blogs, meeting friends around the globe, politics, debates, conspiracies, truth, manageable depression, education, books, elder care, things that bring on uncontrolled laughter.

Now let us cut to a scene in the movie, "Seabiscuit". The two jockeys are on their mounts and talking in the back of the pack when the Iceman sees a clearing between the racehorses ahead, "There's my hole...Gotta go!!!"

Thanks for your patience...

I used to go around with my trusty Polaroid and tell people that I take wedding photographs in the most sincere voice with appropriate facial expression and pretty soon that led to people actually asking me to take pictures of their weddings and that led me to composing a photo shoot for QKT's band that one day in that impossibly small gardenshed with all of their equipment crammed in and that led to some pretty great pics and then I find out they used it for their last album/CD cover and never gave me credit for taking the picture...that burned me up...sigh...but I did sorta get back at him with that fake email letter of copyright infringement I sent to their bands email address (oops, by mistake, haha that Freddy taught me how to do in Hollywood) like it was from an attorney to me...justice was served. Although I would have just liked the damn credit. Bastards. I'm going to go out and see how their band is doing now.

Okay, so you need to know what I'm discovering...after months of sitting in 24 hour numb, dumb and mute state in front of the television watching every Reality show in existence I'm now switching my obsessive compulsive actions to the internet thanks to StumbleOpen and what a plethora of wealth I'm finding...do yourself a favor and check out some of the sites I've listed and then just note what I've said about the other things in-between the quotations and trust that in a little while I'll learn how to embed the links in here for you to see those as well.

Before I forget what a scandal it would be blogwise if I discovered Tavis actually watches The Hills...okay that's only funny to me but let me leave it in here to get back to you when I learn how to show you her site and an episode of The Hills. I never felt so inadequate as a 12-year old until I stumbled across her site last night and all the tiny fashion whores that report daily from the frontlines of their homes and take pics of what they are wearing to school and what they've seen from the latest designers coming out of W magazine...who would have imagined this world when I was a kid...yikes..I am slightly depressed/impressed.

Okay, less is more I know that's what I learned in all my screenwriting courses..don't forget to remind me to tell you about 6 degrees of separation and how I think I've figured out I'm only 2 degrees from most people, I'll try and make a flow chart of it...just remind me okay?

Here's the "do yourself a favor" and check it out stuff I'd like to present for your eyesite pleasure and brain food, which is important, fasten your seatbelts...rehdogg.com, Patches the horse, Pinky the cat, Charley, the guys from The SQQL Dance Club in Texas on Pot Farm Bust, Grand Canyon picture obsession, pictures of crack dealers taken with cellphones -just a funny idea that came to me this morning in my overloaded state, continue..you are the 999,999th winner..wasn't your the 1st good enough? My cats a douchebag.

My find my friends for me contest that I'd like to sponsor on my blog post whenever I get around to learning how to create one or perhaps, wishlist here..finding someone who might be able to help me create a crisp badass blog page?...any takers just email me okay?

Take the dumb test banners, as I've ranted before but just discovered an even more amazing Nigerian scam letter..remind me to try and see if my new web friend will let me copy the one she received on her blog the other day...I'm getting tired of even remotely trying to puncuate correctly because I'm more creative when I freewrite as I posted once before (thanks for your responses to my freewrite question, it's a shame you guys wanted them marked as private, the few I got were gems I tell you..

Onward sorry for the stray ramblings, remind me to link you to the YouTube of the social experiment done by the Washington Post in which Joshua Green (incredible violinist) plays on a 3.2 million dollar violin in a subway station and he only had 6 people put money in his case...cudos or Kudos whatever to the one woman that did recognize him...

Please don't rip this page. Whew..that's it for now..thanks for your time...please don't be overly critical as I'm just learning about this whole blog world. Thank you in advance for any comments.